This episode is about how to be happy at work. It's a topic I was determined to include in the first season of Her Career Her Life because I feel really strongly about it and I’ve given it lots of thought throughout my 30 year career. I’m looking forward to sharing my ideas with you. I’ve not always succeeded in being happy at work - sometimes I’ve been downright miserable. But there are a number of practical steps that I'm sure will give you the best shot at happiness - or at least start to move you towards a happier frame of mind.

Here’s what’s waiting for you inside this episode

I think happiness is a choice, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy choice. I do think we can choose our emotions and there are some practical steps we can take to improve our mood and move towards happiness.  But whether we get there depends on a number of things.  The first thing I think it depends on, is how far away from happy we are - and how far along the emotional scale we need to climb. 

So depending on where we’re starting on the emotional scale, we may not be headed straight for happy, but there are a number of practical steps that I’ve learnt to use to ensure that you give yourself the best shot at happiness - or at least start to move towards a happier frame of mind.

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Transcript

Her Career, Her Life podcast.
Season 1 Episode 9
How to be Happy at work

Hello I’m Elise Finn and welcome to episode 9 of Her Career, Her Life - the podcast that helps professional women create a career and life they love.

If you’re new to the podcast and have just dived into this episode let me give you some context.

Her Career, Her Life is designed to help professional women who want to make a great life and not just a good living.  In this first season we’ve been digging into the challenge of starting a new corporate role - looking at the common mistakes people make and how to avoid them.  In previous episodes we covered topics such as how to ask the right questions to understand the culture and how to be successful within it, how to build your personal brand so you’re purposeful in how you show up and how to create a powerful sphere of influence.

These lessons are valuable at any point in your career but are particularly critical when you’re starting out in a new job - whether that’s in a new company or a promotion within your existing firm. 

This is episode 9 in season 1 - and after this one we have just one episode left to complete the season.

This marks a bit of a milestone for me.
Creating and launching my own podcast has been a bit surreal to be honest.  I’ve always been a huge podcast fan and listen to at least one podcast every day - but I never thought I would be creating my own!

This journey has been amazing - I’ve had so much encouragement and support - not just from the people who are already close to me - but also from people I don’t know from all over the world egging me on and keeping me motivated when it got tough to find the time to do this on top of the coaching that I do everyday with my clients.

And the time commitment hasn’t been the only challenge for me on this journey.  There have been loads of times when I’ve had a crisis of confidence - thinking that I don’t know what I’m doing, that no one will listen, that my lessons aren’t important enough to share - and plenty more!!

The reviews listeners have written have made a huge difference to my resilience and motivation - so if you’ve written me a review I’m so grateful - and if you haven’t yet and you’re getting value from this season please do pop over to iTunes and write me one - they make such a difference - not only to me but also in helping the show be more visible to anyone else who might need this advice!

There have been times when the tech has mystified me and honestly, if it wasn’t for the help from my wonderful husband Martin in sorting it all out I don’t think I would have got to this point - so thank you Martin!

And so on this note of struggle, it seems appropriate to dive into this episode as the topic is how we can be happy at work.  This is a topic I was determined to include in this first season of Her Career Her Life, because its a topic I feel really strongly about - I’ve given it lots of thought throughout my 30+ year career and I’m really looking forward to sharing my ideas with you.

And I feel like I should start by saying that I’ve not always succeeded in being happy at work - in fact at times I’ve been downright miserable.  I’ve also been angry, upset, frustrated, disappointed, bored, scared and probably just about every other emotion there is.

And that would be my first point on this topic.

We can’t expect to always be happy at work - or in life for that matter, I don’t even think that’s something that’s achievable or even attractive.

If we were happy all the time, what would happiness mean anyway?  

That stomach swooping, skin tingling, endorphin rush of happiness is only special because it’s not always around.  And experiencing the full range of human emotions is really what we want isn’t it?  That’s what being human really means - it sets us apart from every other living thing on this planet.

Add to that the reality of that old saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!’

In my life the greatest lessons, the things that have meant the most to me in terms of growth, development and experience have almost never been what I would describe as ‘happy’ episodes.  They’ve been difficult, challenging, exciting, sometimes awful - but they’ve been my most important stories - and have made me the person I am today.

So what am I really saying here?

Happy is good but it’s not permanent and it shouldn’t be - we need to experience the not so good stuff too so that we grow into a bigger version of ourselves.

So, having spent a few minutes talking you OUT of being happy - let me say that happiness is, of course, wonderful and it’s an emotion I chose as often as I can and if that all sounds a bit hippy dippy for you, bear with me.

I think happiness is a choice, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy choice.  

I do think we can choose our emotions and there are some practical steps we can take to improve our mood and move towards happiness.  But whether we get there depends on a number of things.  The first thing I think it depends on, is how far away from happy we are - and how far along the emotional scale we need to climb.

If you think of your emotions as a scale, happiness is going to be pretty far up at the top alongside it’s close companions joy and excitement.  If you’re starting at a low point on that same scale - maybe you’d describe yourself as angry, you’re going to need to leap a number of rungs to reach happy and that might not be possible in one step.  

We usually need to move up the emotional scale one rung at a time - and it’s helpful to know where you’re starting from, so you can navigate the journey and know how far you want and need to climb.  

So depending on where we’re starting on the emotional scale, we may not be headed straight for happy, but there are a number of practical steps that I’ve learnt to use to ensure that you give yourself the best shot at happiness - or at least start to move towards a happier frame of mind.

And it’s so important for us to decide to move towards happiness at work.  We spend the majority of our waking hours at work - and during a working week we will probably spend more time at work than we do asleep, so thinking about how we can be happy at work is important.  Settling for being miserable at work means you’re really accepting that as the dominant state of mind, or emotion for your whole life - and no one wants that.

So let’s get going and dive right into some ideas that have worked for me in terms of finding greater happiness at work and in life: 

Decide to be a torchbearer

By this I mean decide to be a positive and not a negative force at work.  Choose to see the good in people and situations and let this positive attitude be your ‘go to’ behaviour.
This singular decision can have a huge impact on your likelihood of finding enjoyment in your work and also - as emotions are contagious - on all those people you come into contact with every day.
If you’re new in your job this is a decision you can make with very little baggage - and it’s easier to do when you have the ‘bright eyed, bushy tailed’ excitement of a new challenge.  It’s not easy when you’re entrenched in a negative mindset and surrounded by people who all seem to be finding the bad in situations and predicting the worst, negative outcomes.

So if you’re making the positive decision to be a torchbearer what can you do - to shift your attitude to the positive, light bearing attitude you want to have?

Here are 3 suggestions that have worked for me.

Start your day right.  I am a morning person, so this is the time when I feel at my most energised and positive - and I know there are things I can do in the morning that will help me stay positive throughout the day:
Make enough time to start the day right.  We all want to hit the snooze button sometimes but on a working day that can bring with it a heap of stress that just isn’t worth those extra few minutes dozing.  Get up in enough time to be able to calmly start your day - enough time to make your bed, get ready, get the kids organised (if you have them), get your stuff ready for work and leave the house in a calm, if not entirely relaxed way.  A morning that is filled with stress, rushing and mishaps is hard to shake and can set the scene for our whole day.

Assume positive intent.  This is a phrase that’s a bit hackneyed and has been overused in corporate value statements but I believe that it’s still one of the most powerful things we can all decide to do - and in my experience it can reap huge rewards in terms of a positive point of view.  So let me explain.  When you decide to assume positive intent you’re effectively making the decision to not jump to any negative conclusions about someone else’s motives or intentions - in fact you’re doing the opposite.  You’re deciding to assume that people are usually coming from a good place and not a bad one - that they have good intentions rather than shady ones.  This might sound obvious but I know from experience that this is not the usual starting point in some big corporate organisations where some people’s bad behaviour and using of shady corporate politics has bred an atmosphere of mistrust and stress.  But this can be a self fulfilling procephy if we don’t break that negative cycle of mis-trust and scepticism.   We can stop ourselves from leaping to the first negative thought when we hear something we either don’t completely understand or that doesn’t sound ‘right’ to us.  And in doing that, we can instead choose to assume that this person means well or at least means no harm - and that we just need a bit more information to get the full picture. The way this played out most often for me during my corporate life was through the use of email - we’ve all had that loosely worded email that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck as you read between the lines and start to assume all sorts of negative meanings that the writer is probably trying to convey.  I really became a victim to this paranoid way of thinking and it began to really affect my mood and behaviour, I was always looking to read between the lines and find some negative, blaming or shaming meaning that mostly wasn’t anything other than a figment of my imagination - and maybe brought on by a hasty, clumsy communication rather than anything more sinister.
Assuming positive intent meant that instead of leaping to negative conclusions instead I assumed that they meant well and responded in that fashion - or if the message really was ambiguous, I got curious and asked them directly - by phone or in person for some more information.
This simple shift had a huge impact on my mindset - deciding that people are ‘on the whole’ are really good, decent human beings who are not out to get you’ is a much more comfortable and positive approach and certainly helped me to be a happier person at work.
Avoid the ‘death eaters’ - any Harry Potter fan knows exactly what I mean by this!  Death eaters are those people who just want to suck the life blood out of you, the room and any good idea that might come their way.  These are the people who drain you of your energy, your creativity and your positive vibes.  You know who they are - stay away from them and if you can’t do that entirely, limit the exposure you have to them and do what you can to not absorb their negative energy - it is contagious.  This may sound woowoo to you but earlier in my career I found myself working regularly with someone I considered a death eater for me - I couldn’t avoid him we had to work together on various projects - but I recognised the effect this was having on my mental health so I knew I needed to protect myself from this.  Whenever I knew I was going to be working with him I prepared myself mentally by going somewhere quiet (the ladies is always an option) and doing a short breathing exercises and mentally imagining a protective dome of light coming down to protect me from his energy. This calmed me down and made it a lot easier to deal with him without him affecting my own reserves of positivity!

My second suggestion on ways that can help you find more happiness at work is to:

Connect with your higher purpose at work

Not all of us work in fields that have obvious and intrinsic value such as finding cures for cancer or saving the world from the effects of plastic waste - but we can all find some personal reason for our work to be worthwhile and fulfilling - and this can give us much greater motivation to get up and out in the morning and also to persevere during challenging times - both things add to our overall level of happiness.

I worked in Financial Services for more than 25 years and I used to joke that this was about ‘making rich men richer’ and if I was feeling particularly cynical I would also add ‘and they’re not even grateful!’ but I know now how negative these statements are and they didn’t help me to find a reason to be happy in my work!

I believe we can all find a higher purpose for our work - and if we really can’t then we should seriously consider a change of career!  Because having a purpose and connecting to it on a daily basis has been a huge factor in my life in being able to choose happiness in my work when it has also meant that I’ve had to make tough decisions and sacrifices to my family and my personal life along the way.  In order for these sacrifices to be ‘worthy’ there has to be a bigger reason for doing what we do everyday - otherwise it can be very demoralising.

So I’m encouraging you to think about the reasons your work is worthwhile and to connect to this everyday.  Of course the main reason we all work is for the financial rewards - and that’s no small reason - being able to support your family, to provide for them and keep them safe, fed, clothed, educated, entertained and for you to be together in a safe, comfortable home is so important.

But I’m sure you can find other sources of value for your work - it might be having a positive impact on others - if you manage a team there is an obvious purpose you have in nurturing and leading this team - but anyone can be a person of influence - a leader who has a positive impact on others -  and this can be a very meaningful purpose - if you missed episode 7 about the importance of building influence go and listen when you’ve finished with this episode! 

There is also real purpose in seeing progress against meaningful goals - which is why it’s so important to get goal setting right - and I’m sure I’m going to cover this topic in a future episode.  But think about why your goals matter as this can be a powerful source of purpose in your work.

One final point on finding your purpose at work - once you’re clear on what brings meaning to your work, make sure you are spending the majority of your time and energy on this activity.  If your purpose is to help develop others - look at your diary and see how much actual time is devoted to that and where you can add more?  If your purpose is to find answers to important questions through desk research how much deep work are you able to do on this - how can you eliminate distractions so you really connect to this purpose on a daily basis?

My final point on finding happiness at work is to make sure that:

It’s not all about work!

In order to be able to bring your best self to work so you can apply yourself with all your skills and energy you need to be in great shape physically and psychologically - and that’s not going to happen if all you’re doing is working and all your thinking about when you’re not working is about work!

Work is not Life - let’s not lose sight of this even if our work is incredibly important to us - we all need other things to help bring happiness into our lives.

People, family, friends - they’re at the top of most of our lists in terms of importance but how much time and energy do we really give them? 

Hobbies, interests, groups - extending our skills and leaning into our creativity in different ways brings so much happiness.

Exercise, nutrition, mobility, fresh air - how are we protecting our physical health?

Finances, savings, debt and securing our pensions - this is something that can be a huge drain on our energies if we don’t have them sorted.

All of these things matter and they’re not to do with work.  Yet finding the time to balance our attention and energy across these areas can be very tough especially if we have a demanding job that takes us away from home a lot of the time.

During the years I travelled a lot for work this became a real issue for me and I developed an approach I call ‘Success not sacrifice’ which is all about finding effective ways to address those areas of our lives that can get neglected when we give too much to our work.  I’d love to share this with you if you’re interested - just email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

So those are my top tips for finding greater happiness at work:

Decide to be a torch bearer
Connect with your higher purpose at work
Make sure it’s not all about work!

I hope this has been useful to you.
I also hope you’ll join me next week when I’ll have a very special guest join me for the final episode in this season when I’ll be discussing how to handle stress at work.  We can all recognise the importance of this topic so please join me for episode 10 next week.

In the meantime - if you’re getting value from this podcast and you haven’t already left a written review in iTunes please do, I would be so grateful for your feedback and as a thank you I’m giving away a free 30 minute coaching session to someone who leaves a review every week of this first season. 

As ever I would love to hear from you and you can always reach me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Thank you so much for listening, join me next week and in the meantime go out there and build a career and a life that you’re going to love.